Nothing to Disclose
Good morning, lovelies! Today I have a different type of post for you. I am teaming up with several other beauty bloggers to talk about beauty - true beauty. I think when a lot of people hear the words "beauty blogger" or "nail polish blogger" they automatically assume the blogger is superficial. I'm not sure why this is but it is simply not true. Just because I have a blog focusing on nail polish doesn't mean I don't value inner beauty more than outer beauty, in both myself and in others.
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Something most of you probably don't know about me is that I am overweight, and have been since I was 7 years old. Growing up and being overweight takes a toll on your self-esteem. I know everyone gets bullied at some point no matter what they look like but for me personally I tend to internalize everything. When I was bullied as a kid I didn't let people see that they were getting to me, I just held it all in and cried about it later when I was alone. The problem was I believed everything they said because I didn't love myself. I knew I was a nice person and a great friend but I hated the way I looked, hated the extra weight (which, looking back wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time) and I couldn't get past that.
I continued beating myself up over the way I looked well into adulthood, and honestly still do at times. I love wearing makeup (not just nail polish) and it often made me feel much more confident. I know the makeup isn't what makes you pretty but when you feel pretty you feel better overall. People would often tell me "you have such a pretty face" in a way that screamed "you have such a pretty face, too bad the rest of you doesn't match." Something that could have been a compliment and made me feel better about myself came across like a slap in the face. Why couldn't they just say "you're pretty" - would that have harmed anyone? And that played a part in what I told myself. I told myself that I wasn't pretty enough and that nobody would love me until I lost weight. I told myself that so often that I honestly believed it. I knew in my head if anyone truly loved me they wouldn't care what I looked like, but my thinking was that nobody would want to get to know the real me because I looked like I did.
Fast forward several years and hard knocks down the road and I'm not perfect but I am much wiser. I have the most amazing friends now, people who love me no matter what I look like. They have taught me so much and made me believe in myself more than I ever thought possible. I'm still not where I'd like to be but I'm so much better at believing I am beautiful just as I am. I feel more confident and when you feel more confident your true self, your inner beauty, shines through and that radiates so much more than makeup ever could.
And because I've never shown you guys what I look like (other than my nails), here is a photo of me. It's a couple of years old but I haven't changed much, other than chopping off my hair - which I kind of miss. I sure don't miss the upkeep though!
Beauty isn't about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside. And to portray that to the world you have to know you're beautiful. I know I am a smart, kind person and one of the best, most loyal friends anyone could ever have. I am a giving and thoughtful person and I can finally say I think I'm beautiful. I'm not perfect, but neither is anybody else. But everyone is beautiful in their own way.
Thanks for reading and remember you are beautiful. ♥